When I was 9 years old and was secretly drinking a very sweet orange inside mathematics class, the teacher walked up to my desk and took me to the front with my squeezed orange. When I was 10 years old and wearing a cute yellow gown I liked, and my aunt came to our house and joked “Zee, only skinny girls should wear gowns like that!” When my brother saw a very pressured red lipstick on my lips when I was 13, he became furious and asked, “ what is all this on your lips, go and clean it immediately.” That was in front of people! When I was 14, I was picked with some other students to represent my school in inter junior school competition (pick and talk). I failed to say anything tangible about the topic I picked in front of the audience and the judges. When we eventually got to the bus, the Uncle that followed said, “you! I’m quite disappointed.” I cried my eyes out when I got back home.
Month: February 2022
For a long time, I had no self trust. I ran away from the things that gave off the signs of actually being correct. As a writer, I’d always receive good feedback about my writing. People in my life would explicitly tell me that they thought I should try to write full time. I was happiest and most fulfilled when I wrote. This is not to say I did not receive negative feedback or face disappointments ( writing is about rejection, lol!), but let’s just say there were at least signs that I should commit myself to writing and pursue it with some level of vigor. And yet, for months, I just didn’t.