Happy, “there are days I wonder how my husband keeps up. I feel he is hard on himself, he has reduced being around friends and now gives our children less fatherly attention, I know loosing almost everything is hitting him real hard but he won’t even talk about it, anytime I push, he would say I will fix it forgetting that as his wife, we are in it together “… This is a man whom at a point in his life, had it all.
What then happened, shit happened. Government changed, he got scammed, what was left of his business couldn’t sustain the family anymore and this man was quietly drowning but couldn’t even relate it to either his friends who are already aware of his looses neither could he seek solace in his family. Why? Because society says men shouldn’t feel pain, men should always show up strong no matter what, being vulnerable makes one less of a man and the worst of all is, for him to cry, that’s a taboo.
This man sucked up so much that he started looking ten years older than his age with gray hair everywhere. At a point his wife didn’t know what to do than pray for her family to be okay again. One night, she woke and couldn’t find her husband anywhere. She started looking for him, and praying he is okay and just then, she found him sitting behind the house crying like a little child, her heart went out to him but the best she could do was sit next to him and just let him cry. She said “my husband cried for almost thirty minutes while I watched in relief because he needed to let those tears out” after which she got him a handkerchief to wipe his face. He then looked at her and said “I have failed as a man, a husband and a father, I can’t even give you the life you deserve anymore”… all she could do at that very moment was to console him and encourage him.
Society put alot of pressure on men forgetting that they were first human before anything, and they have emotions too and it runs deeper than we think. We need to cut them some slack and help them realize that it’s okay to be tired, to be vulnerable and to cry.
Apt, We need to release the pressure put on men, its ok for them to cry, to be tired, to lose. Life is short and we should all live it with happiness!
It’s okay to be vulnerable, and yes, this is true. But on a second thought, how many women understand that?
We’ve raised a culture of people who believe men shouldn’t cry and at all time, they must always be there for their family and take less care of themselves.
It has gotten to a point where, as a man, if you can’t do some things because of circumstances, women would shame you for it and some times, would make you feel less of yourself.
Besides, it has gotten so worse that many ladies already turned entitled – like, if he’s my boyfriend, he must be able to do this and that for me, forgetting that he’s only but a boyfriend.
And sadly, many men has fallen into this bs expectations to the point where they have turned to someone who lives to impress the so called girlfriend.
Like I used to say jokingly, as a man, you’re expected to fight for everything including your own life. Every little thing is a competition since everyone is only trying to put up a show.
The only place a man find peace in his life is his home – a place he called his.
But sadly, many women didn’t understand this simple thing and they would still make his home a hell for him thereby leading him to seek solace outside.
If one fights outside just to make his bread and also have to come home to a nagging wife where he would also fight for understanding and his peace, then what’s the only option that’s left?
I bet not so many.
I wish more men could see this clearly, but maybe I’m too optimistic or naive. We all can do better, but until then, it is what it is.