THE CONTROL!

Praise is Wonderful, isn’t it?

When someone praises me, I get a lovely warm glow inside and feel great. And they say the quickest way to get round someone is to flatter them. You have probably enjoyed being praised in your time too.

Suppose you knew the numbers for the lottery? Not guessed them, not dreamt them, but really knew them. What would you do? You would run to the store. You would mark those numbers on the play card. And you would win.

Same for praising. Suppose you were expecting praises from people for your hardwork or you set up attachment to specific outcomes. Suppose you were expecting them to acknowledge your work? If you receive those praises, you would feel happy and maybe motivated. But what happens if you don’t receive the praise? You would feel disappointed, you may begin to second guess yourself, or even react by condemning your own work.

This post is another article that I have written for myself as much as I have written it for anybody else who might happen to read it.

You see, sugar is nice, but a little goes a long way and too much can really screw you up.

Since childhood, we have been accustomed to receiving compliments and praise from others. If we did well in school, our teacher would applaud us. But as an adult, depending on others to encourage you or acknowledge your work can negatively affect you.

I was sent a snippet that says; For example, when we seek approval or acknowledgment of others as reward for our efforts, more often than not we are left wanting or downright angry and confused when we don’t get what we are looking for.

Why are we feeling so bad? Because we have set an expectations for something that isn’t in our control. As we all know, we can’t control everything and make everyone behave according to our wishes. If you do good things, expecting others to acknowledge it, you set yourself up for disappointment. Sitting around waiting for motivation to strike you is a losing battle.

Sometimes ago, whenever I published an article, I used to be overwhelmed with people’s positive comments both publicly and privately. Well, I cut myself some slack. What I can control; writing good articles. What I can’t control; how people take it. Some people will relate well to the topic, some might not have a clue. if I now set my expectations by depending on people to acknowledge my work, it means I set myself up for disappointment because if I don’t get it, it will negatively affect me, I might begin to sabotage my own work. Expecting praise for doing things can pretty soon make that seem not worth doing at all if you don’t get the praise. You should save yourself from the disappointments that arise from undue expectations.

Being sure of yourself is the foundation of your self esteem. I have heard so many times that it is not nice to have strong positive feelings of oneself, but there’s difference between arrogance and self confidence. Being arrogant is when you express an exxagerated opinion of yourself to be accepted. Self- confidence is walking in your own courage and determination without needing anyone’s approval.

Don’t do something to earn people’s gratitude; do something because you want to do it. It helps you feel better, it matches your integrity. Praise yourself when you take a step in the right direction.

There will be times when no one will give you the praise you deserve. It is your job to keep making progress. Continue to do your best, because you never know who is watching. Someone may give you an opportunity that may advance you to another level.