For a long time, I had no self trust. I ran away from the things that gave off the signs of actually being correct. As a writer, I’d always receive good feedback about my writing. People in my life would explicitly tell me that they thought I should try to write full time. I was happiest and most fulfilled when I wrote. This is not to say I did not receive negative feedback or face disappointments ( writing is about rejection, lol!), but let’s just say there were at least signs that I should commit myself to writing and pursue it with some level of vigor. And yet, for months, I just didn’t.
In real life, I’m not a very confessional person. I didn’t write all this while because I was scared by the idea “judgement.” I like to think through things myself and I make decisions with input from only one or two people.
Now, how do I feel comfortable showing people my writing when I don’t think it’s perfect? A lot of people are interested in sharing more, but they are horrified by the potential repercussions. At any time, you could get canceled for saying something controversial (fingers crossed for me, guys). Anyone who’s had a tweet or an essay go wildly viral knows how scary it feels: like inviting five friends to a party only to have 500 people lined up outside the door.
A friend once described writing as a way for me to gain control over how I’m seen. I agree with that. Instead of relying on someone else to narrativize my life or offer an observation about me. I use writing as a way to assert my own narrative. It’s how I remain more subject than object, how I maintain conviction in my own agency. Writing in public is a way to get constant feedback to prove to myself that what I’m writing is worth something to someone.
The other day a brother told me that he could see from my blogpost and my instagram story that I was trying very hard to get better. I can’t explain what a privilege it is that someone in the world pays attention to how hard I’m trying. I could live without telling anyone anything, but on some level that feels like a sad way to live. Because no one would know about a single beautiful thing that happened to me. An analogy that’s been stuck in my head forever: If you don’t expose yourself, no one’s ever gonna care.
Writing well is all that matters. It’s like running, or lifting, or anything else that requires time and consistency. You keep going because you believe you are getting better even though it feels like you aren’t, you keep going as a way to demonstrate your own devotion. But still, I keep writing because I have something to say.
Keep writing because people like me found joy in transparency, most writer aint passionate in there writing they just cook up things, but this shows that if you can keep doing this you gotta be seen in the midst of writers. Keep going, keep writing, you never know who really needs to read more of you me articles and get points from your words and make them feel relieved, just like I felt while reading this…. i must say to you that writing ✍️ is all about your experience, feelings and passion so keep doing it because I realize you have something hidden👍❤️
Thank you🙏🏼… I really appreciate😊
You write really well zee, you are going places ❤️
Thank you dear🤍
Keep writing 👏👏
Thank you bro🤍
Never underestimate the power of your pen. Keep writing keep sharing, it can only get better from here🤍
Thank you sis🤍
When I saw the link to your post on WhatsApp, I knew I had to settle down and take my time to read it. I always look forward to the next thing you will write and I wasn’t disappointed. Your writing is beautiful. Quite engaging and you honed your voice like a pro. As always.
I have got a few tips that could help writers cope with public judgement. One of the best ways to ensure that criticism doesn’t stop you from writing is to write under a pseudonym or pen name when you’re starting out. As you hone your voice and feel more confident in your writing, then you can reveal your identity.
I also happen to be someone who held back from sharing his thoughts in public for the longest time out of the fear of public criticism and what people would say. I still do. That’s because my opinion are often controversial. The right word for this category of people is contrarian.
I read something recently on how to cope with feedbacks as a contrarian. If you you’re a contrarian with often divergent but not particularly wrong world views. Your work is to make the mainstream bend their thinking in the right way. The reason why people see your idea as controversial is because they are not used to that way of thinking or your words is reminds them of the reality they are afraid to confront. Instead of seeing your opinion as controversial and letting the harsh judgement of the crowd silence your voice, you have the moral obligation to use your writing as an instrument to instruct the public to start thinking in the right way.
Another thing that can encourage you to write more and share your work in public is to surround yourself with other writers who makes writing feel like norms and not an activity of the weirdos. Consequently, the more you write and share your thoughts in public, the more your realize your opinions are valid and the more serendipity brings you close to people who share your worldview.
Awwwww, thank you so much for this. This right here!! I needed this! Thanks for the tips🥺
I remember when Zaynab_signature asked about your relationship with me. She said and I quote “She’s really a good writer, I visited her blog” . That moment I felt proud and glad😊
Awww, this is it!!!! This right here means a lot😭🤍🤍
Woah🤯this is so much well expressed ✍🏾❤️I enjoyed reading it all through because it’s well detailed articles looking forward to more articles like this🤩🤩
Thank you Bright🤍
Perfection is an illusion. Don’t ever hold yourself up to impossible standards that will only hold you back. Forget perfection and concentrate on growth. I’m glad that you keep getting better every day. I’m proud of you baby girl!!
Zee babes, you’re so good & I’m soo proud 🥺❤️❤️
All the best❤️
Thank you love🤍🤍
Hmmm, so many people who love writing have resided to writing in their personal journals and judge themselves, because they feel they are better off with their own criticism, rather than have others chip in their negative feedbacks. Do i blame them? Hell No! I mean the world is cold, but also, it can be the coziest if you allow yourself walk the rocky roads during the journey.
🥂Here is to more off loads of your beautiful ideas and experience.
Well I’m sure u know tons of people like myself are rooting for you big time! 🎉
Awww, thanks always for the support sis🙏🏼🤍
I can so relate💜 I’m hoping you put out more of you prowess 💜
Thank you sis🤍
“Instead of you reading this in umpteen times, just eat the paper or swallow the device containing the texts, in this way you keep it in you forever”. That’s the thought that sometimes plays in my head when I find a write-up really interesting, awesome and captivating.
And it just did that again and I am not surprised!!! But, I won’t swallow my laptop, atleast not yet. 😅😅
Our minds are conscripted in such a mysterious way that even the most brilliant brains on earth find it unfathomable. The mind is a small, yet the most powerful cockpit, that heaves the energy propelling myriads of thoughts abound in us. Each individual dissipates and utilises this energy in different many ways, indicative of our various uniqueness.
Writing is one of the two most important ways of conveying the thoughts in our minds (the other being “Speaking”). It is even considered more powerful of the two because of its ability to be better fine-tuned, retrieved or recalled easily. And honestly, writers pass writers! Some persons write better than some other! Some individuals write so fine that one’s breath is held and every one’s activity are brought to a temporary halt, and won’t be relieved until the whole writeup is devoured. Their writings are so captivating that you picture yourself in the middle of the adventures of their stories, be it realities or fictions. To avoid bias, I won’t mention names, plus it’s also totally subjective. You have those you really like too, I’m sure everyone does!
However, going through the lives of those considered fine writers, they all have one common nomenclature, which is “self-discovery”. While it might be true that some individuals are genius or innately gifted in what they do right from their birth, it is known and welll established that everyone is actually a genius or gifted, it’s just a matter of time and efforts. Just like in every other aspects of our life, it is important to identify and make constant efforts to discover what one’s good at. Writing is such an aspect that requires constant effort to develop the dexterity in. A sense of laxity can be retrogressive. I remember while developing myself in writing, I set the goal of writing atleast once daily on anything – which I found easier in poetry – and I’m still on the journey. Ofcourse, I know it can be tough and/or rough. You sometimes battle the sense of imposter syndrome in your head or the self-guilt or fear of being judged on what you’ve opinionated in writing. However, it is important never to give in to these thoughts. They are bugs that eat the confidence and bring down the strength you’ve built. And just like Azeezah pointed up there, sense of perfection is one of the bugs. Ofcourse, it is fine to try to achieve that, but it is equally more important to note that it’s not achievable, you only get close to it.
I will conclude my comment with Robert Graves’ quote, “There’s no such thing as good writing, only good rewriting”
Sweetheart, you’re on the right journey and will soon see you at the top.
Thank you so much bro for this beautiful and encouraging comment!!🤍🤍……. This is it!!
Loveeeet it. I really enjoyed reading it. It was smooth. It was effortlessly written. No pressure babe. Just write
anything anytime…..Then post any one😂 You are good at what you do. Just do you ooo.
Thank you dear
Admired the way you dealt with it😍
Keep writing babe🤗🤗🤗