Few weeks ago I watched a TedX YouTube video, there I saw a woman who said she’s a sex worker give a rather compelling speech about men. She said that more than 50 percent of all the men that contacted her just wanted to talk to her. Yes to me it was strange but she went on to say that all these men wanted to share their deepest thoughts, fears and worries without being judged, ridiculed or laughed at.
From the first day a man is born he is forced to face the weird reality that he must not show emotions or even show pain, he must suck it up and ” be a man”. You can’t express your fears, you can’t be human simply because you are a man. Recently I was in a very difficult situation and I just needed to talk to someone about my fears, I didn’t even finish talking to my close friend when he looked at me like I was an alien and said ” dude, you’re a man”.
Statistics have shown that most suicides are committed by men, drug abuse, alcoholism, addictions are mostly done by men. You ask why? Because they can’t express their pain, they can’t talk to anyone without being judged, all they do is bottle up all that pent up emotions and use addictions to numb the pain for awhile. Those who don’t have addictions end up committing suicide because they can’t take it any longer.
There are times when men just want to take their foot off the pedal and rest, sometimes to take their hands off the steering wheel and just find peace away from all the noise and madness. Unfortunately that’s almost impossible these days, the few lucky ones do have a partner or spouse that understands them enough to be their comfort zone. Men can’t handle emotions very well, they can’t handle pain but yet are expected by society to suck it up and BE A MAN. Men also cry.
Nice one Kaycee.
I hope we do better as a society.
I think the “girl child/ feminine” species is overly emphasized at the expenses of the male child.
We are repeating the same mistake our fathers made (by placing the male child over the female child.) we should rather find a balance point. Afterall, we are all human. We all have emotions regardless of our gender.
I do not dispute the fact we are created differently but in many situations we should be treated equally.
Coming from a mother, this is an interesting stand. When I see people saying “he is this or he is that,” my thought is usually that, well, he is also trained by a mother.
Women trained men to be men, or as you may say in a different way – they trained men to be irresponsible.
How do I mean? Growing up used to be fun for me, until I had to be trained by my step mother. She hated me, she would make me do all those chore that men shouldn’t be doing (according to popular belief).
I learn to cook, to do my own laundry and all other gender roles. To her, she was treating me with disgust since she’s not my mom.
In retrospect, those trainings were the best of my life even when I didn’t appreciate it then. While in recent times, she’s become more remorseful, I still loved her like my own mom.
These days, when people come online and talk about all different kind of men, I’m usually tempted to want to ask them to check their own brothers and they will see that they also had the same trait as those men they were chastising but since it’s their brother, it never meant so much to them.
And on a second thought, I’ll just let it pass since I know such argument wouldn’t worth my time.
You see, women raised both the male and the female child, the question we should be asking is how did they trained two sexes to be different.
Mothers need to do better, and yes, men need to also cry.
I’ve made it a rule of thumb to distance myself from any lady who’s into shaming me because I choose to be lazy some times, or any one who wouldn’t give me peace of mind and I wished many men could do same.
But I’m wrong, many just want to impress, which there’s nothing wrong with it.