Fundamentally, there are two ways to kill a person. Either you stop the heart or you stop the flow of oxygen to the brain. Likewise, there are two ways to life; Life is a combination of happiness and pain.
We live in such a fast pace world, everything happens so quickly, we have got fast version, fast food, fast Internet. I think we have lost the idea of pains and patience.
I was with a friend telling her mum “she hates pains,” then the mum said; “well, avoid painful stuff.”
Well, she’s right but she should have been more plain with her. Obviously, pains are necessary for growth. Nobody likes it but avoidance will not serve us. It only brings us more anguish in the long run.
The response that will serve us best is to feel and learn how to endure it when it comes. As author John Green wisely put it, “Pain demands to be felt.”
Some of the hardest moments of my life have prepared me for the kind of courage I would have never had if life had been easy. This doesn’t mean that I want to experience pain or that it doesn’t bother me but it means that rather than seeing pain as a hindrance to my growth, I view it as necessary tool.
Pain has taught me things that happiness never could. Pain has made me realize how everything is, how temporary ‘good times’ can be. Pain pushed me to change, grow and shape myself in new ways.
I’m not saying that pain is something we should all experience in order to reach those places, but what I am saying is that pain will not stop you from being your happiest self one day, instead, it might even give you the push on the back that you need to get there sooner.
Having a broad perspective on life gives you the strength to move forward through painful times. There is a little use in having a machine which you cannot operate without a manual. Just like to drive a car, we have to learn how to operate steering wheel, the clutch, the brake, the gear, and so on. To move towards stability of the mind, we must know the basic principles about our life force energy.
To hurt is to be human, no matter how much we want to avoid it. Instead of viewing emotional pain – grief, loss, sadness, anxiety, stress, fear – as a threat or as something inherently bad, we can get curious about these feelings, the wisdom they offer and the purpose they serve.
As Rumi reminds us in the poem. The Guest house, every emotion is simply a guest. No emotion is ever permanent, but each one serves a purpose.
Each has been sent as a guide from beyond. So, we should learn to sit with each emotion and ask why it is present.
It can be scary to make contact with the pain that life brings, especially if that is exactly what you have been trying to avoid doing your whole life. It can feel overwhelming and unknown.
The things we fear the most could also be the things that are most beneficial for us. From pain, we can become better and stronger people.
Learning into the feeling does not mean that the emotion controls you, but rather that you are simply giving it the space it needs to move through you.
Pain demands to be felt…….